Replacing my doubt

Trust----Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

This is dictionary.com's definition of one of my biggest struggles.  I'm not one to trust too easily, it's just not something that comes easily for me.  This past Sunday in church the theme of worship was TRUST, and, this past week Gav and I have had several discussions about trust and what it really means to trust each other, and most important--to trust our God.  My whole life I have been taught to put all of your trust in God and everything will eventually fall into place.  It's something I've heard over and over and OVER again, yet something I never truly sat down and thought about.  Being a control-freak like I am, that thought is absolutely terrifying to me now that I really think about it, but I think that God is really trying to show me something through all of this.  I strongly desire to be that trusting and to have that much faith--to just give everything over to God (who will take care of things so much better than I ever could), but I'm finding that i'm more of a 'doubter' than I thought I was or than I would like to be.  A 'Doubting Thomas,' if you will.  (Have you ever heard that song by Nickel Creek? Random side note....).  

Anyway, it's just been something that's been on my mind, and something that I'm really going to try hard to work on.  It's so easy to believe the lie that I know what's best for me...but that's just denying God's reign in my life and denying His call.  The truth is, I can only see a small small fraction of the big picture that God is painting in my life, and He will give me a bigger glimpse of all the things He has in store for me if I just let Him and let go of the reigns that I think I hold.  I think that's the key--Letting Him, because I know He wants to.  He really does want the absolute best for His children.

That's all I got.  Just a glimpse of the thoughts spinning in my head right now.

P.S. This upcoming weekend Gav and I are taking a little weekend get-away trip for Valentine's Day and to celebrate our anniversary a few months early.  He said he wanted to go somewhere and assumed that I wouldn't really be up to moving, much less going anywhere when our one year anniversary rolled around because i'll be so big, so we're combining it into one! =)